Let your stories shape you, not break you.

I let a little bit of my past show yesterday, I admitted that my Dad was in jail, in fact, multiple times during my life.

Phew! I just took a big breath after saying that!

I cherish the stories in my life, the good, the bad and the ugly, yet I don't usually reveal them to many. I feel resistant to open up to these parts at times but I feel immensely relieved when a friendship gets deep enough I can share parts of it.

When I sat with the contrast I asked myself, why does something that feels so good, come with such resistance?

The answer I came up with, it feels shameful to be the victim. It's as if I did something wrong to have the upbringing I did and the results that came with it.

And when I look at it, no one is to blame, not even my parents. They too are just individuals in life trying to navigate the best they could from an even deeper hell than I went through.

And so I noticed a contrast.

I give a lot of compassion for people in the world because I see how the system has been unfolding longer than we can fully trace back for humanity.

Shame, guilt, unacceptance. These are the ways we 'trained' others into doing things, for ways we couldn't accept ourselves. It's just how we evolved.

And when I looked even deeper at the contrast of the stories I hold about my past, I see that I placed myself as the victim and my parents as heroes. Hero's for walking through the fire so I only had to walk on coals.

Through no fault of their own, but more so as a result of their own trauma, they did their best and guarded us against the physical side of life, but there are 2 sides to every coin. The mental toll that blame and shame take on an individual is still casting ripples all around us.

I have been sitting with the idea of the power in our stories, especially when we release the idea of being the victim, but instead replace it with the image of becoming your own hero.

When I speak to someone in a safe space, I feel the story can take a different spin. Instead of me seeing the bad parts I create inside by not allowing my story out, I miss the parts that did mould me into the victor I am today.

By voicing it, I give it more physicality and scalability. I can hear it for myself when guided or even on my own. I see things in a different light. I can see the things I gained, I can release the fear or guilt and shame and see it for what it really is, a bottomless pit.

The past is gone, but the story can be rewritten.

We all have a story, we do! Most of us can't bare to even think of our own. And I asked myself the question, why is it hard? Because we lack the safe spaces to do so.

That's why my purpose to coach and lead others out of their darkness is so strong. I not only find myself rising up day by day in my journey, but I know what's possible for others when they have the opportunity to do the same.

If you feel it's time to rise from the ashes of the stories of your past, it's time to find that safe space or that podium and change your story from victim to victorious!

If you would like an opportunity to practice changing your story and you are in the area of Halifax, NS. Come out to the Blissful Bonding workshop coming up in November. Julia Warner and I are teaming up to lead 20 brave souls through an experience that will help them find a way to bond without baggage so you can create light meaningful relationships within a safe space.

If you are not able to make the workshop, send me a message or visit my website to see the other events coming up. (Links in the comments)

You too can find your hero's path. I believe in you!

Love Crystal